Happy New Year!

10 things I won't be able to do in the New Year:

1. Go ice-skating

2. Go on a ski-trip

3. Go near sheep and their lamb in Spring

4. Eat soft-boiled eggs

5. Colour my hair

6. Get a back massage

7. Drink champagne

8. Fit into my normal clothes

9. Enjoy Yu Sheng, sushi and sashimi (it's a tragedy!)

10. Try all ways to lose weight

On the other hand, I now have a totally valid reason to have a bursting belly! Woo hoo!

Please vote!

Dear readers, think you have got an inclination on whether Bean will be a boy or a girl? Or perhaps you think I should consider a water birth as opposed to a normal birth? Now's the time to cast your vote! Scroll down on the right column and vote now!

Week 13: Fears and tears

Happy Christmas to you! 

This week has been a real emotional rollercoaster ride for me. I had a week of usual brown discharge which really worried me. Previously my spotting episodes were one-off and resolved within a day or so, but this persistent discharge didn't seem to want to go away. On top of that, I also experienced dull aches and a feeling of tightness in my womb. 

I phoned my obstetrician in Singapore who suggested that perhaps I might have over-exerted myself. That could be true to some extent since I think I have over-done things a little during my short stay in Singapore and Malaysia. My days were packed with activities and yet I got little rest as I slept poorly in the night due to jet-lag. To make matters worse, I had to make an overnight trip to Kuala Lumpur to sort out my spousal visa, which involved even more travelling and exertion. 

The moment I got into the hotel room, I phoned R and broke down. I was convinced something bad had happened to Bean because I didn't understand why I was experiencing the brown spotting and abdominal pain. While I was sobbing uncontrollably, R tried his best to calm me down by saying getting brown discharge was very common among pregnant women, and chances are high that Bean would be fine. "I created Bean and h/she will be strong. I am confident he is well. Don't worry." he said. When I finally finished crying, I phoned my midwife in the UK who advised me to monitor the situation and said she could arrange an ultrasound scan for me when I get back to the country. 

But I was too worried to wait for so long. The moment I got off the plane from Kuala Lumpur, I was in a taxi to my obstetrician in Gleneagles Hospital. He checked that Bean was okay, and broadcast his heartbeat to put my mind at ease. He also did a vaginal examination and did a culture swab to determine if the discharge was caused by an infection. 

That night I flew back to the UK. 

The spotting and aches continued so I went to see my British GP on Christmas eve. I wondered if he could start me on some antibiotics as some vaginal infections could lead to pre-term babies and/or miscarriages. However, he advised on taking a culture swab and getting it analysed before starting me on anything, just to be sure on what was causing the discharge. With the holidays and weekend coming up, I would have to wait for five days before I could get the results back from the lab. 

Thankfully, the results from the swab I did in Singapore came back on Saturday. I phoned them and the nurse told me there was no infection and the discharge was probably due to over-exertion or because the placenta is "still young". Because the uterus is stretching to accommodate the growing foetus, there will be pain on both sides of the lower abdomen. She told me to make sure I rested. 

Glad that the results did not suggest anything sinister, I stayed home over the festive period, did nothing much and caught up on sleep. Today, I am relieved to see that the spotting and abdominal pain had more or less subsided. 

It's incredible to see how maternal I have become since getting pregnant. It's nature's way of programming the mother to instinctively protect her young and doing everything to make sure it is OK. 

And if that means spreading my legs for some strange male doctor to peer at my bits, I don't think twice about doing it, whereas I would be squeamish before. If that means spending a few hundred dollars at the clinic just to hear my baby's heartbeat, I don't even feel the pinch. 

As long as Bean is well, I don't really care about anything else. Welcome to motherhood. 

Week 12: Polly Put The Kettle On

This is my favourite nursery rhyme so far and I think I have been driving Bean crazy by singing it too much. The question to ask is: Why did Suki take the kettle off after Polly put it on? My take is Suki wants to use the stove to make sushi rice! Enjoy the song anyway. 

On Monday I had lunch with K, who gave me a pair of maternity jeans which she could no longer fit into. K is 23 weeks pregnant but if you hadn't seen her belly, she still looks the same as before. We had a meal in a quiet cafe and talked about our journey so far. 

I shared with K that for the first time that morning, I gagged when I brushed my teeth. Apparently that is very common among pregnant women. I'm not sure if it was the taste of the toothpaste or the brushing action itself, but it just made me want to throw up. K said it was the same for her. "I can't brush my back teeth." No wonder they say pregnancy cost you a tooth. 

I flew long-haul this week, via Paris, to head back to Singapore for M & J's wedding. My family was quite worried about the long journey but I made sure I looked after myself on the way. I wore R's baggy track pants on the flight and put on compression socks. Pregnant women are more susceptible to deep-vein thrombosis so the socks will help to the blood circulation in my lower legs. On R's advice, I also drank lots of fluid and frequently walked around the plane. 

I have been feeling great in Singapore, well except the usual jet-lag, but I've been eating well and feeling quite bright. I told the girls the good news in person and they are all going to be Bean's godmothers. Everyone has been asking about the baby's gender, but it's too early to detect now. 

I had dim sum with Emily and the gang and she said, "I think you are going to have a boy because you look good." I told her my mother thought I was a boy too, because of the way she was carrying the child, but then I surprised her on the delivery bed. (Sorry, no hot dog today, Mum). So I'd just like to think I'm having a healthy, normal baby, whatever the gender. 

But I tell you, my hormones are really all over the place! At M & J's wedding, I could not stop crying when they were exchanging their vows, and I was the only bloody one sobbing my heart out at the ceremony. I also cried while reading Neil Humphrey's Be My Baby, on the page he telephoned his mother to tell her his wife was pregnant. That made me sob. My goodness, I am such a wreck! 

On Friday, Mum and I went to see an obstetrician in Gleneagles Hospital because I wanted a local doctor's opinion and advice on the pregnancy. He scanned me and I requested to check the nuchal fold (measurement of the neck's thickness) as it is a possible indicator of Down's syndrome. I told him the sonographers in the UK don't do it anymore as they said it's not really an accurate gauge. "What? But they were the people who told the world to do the nuchal fold examination! And now they don't do it anymore?" my doctor exclaimed. 

The nuchal fold examination should be done between 7 - 13 weeks. Any later the neck would be too thick to measure. Anyway, the doctor examined it for me and said the thickness is 2mm, which is normal. Any reading above 4mm would be cause for concern. He recommended that I requested for an episiotomy during delivery to prevent vaginal tearing all the way to the back. "I think they must realise Asian women have very small pelvises and they usually end up tearing." he said. 

Bean was hiccuping when the scan was done and seemed pretty dormant, unlike the last ultrasound we did. But this time we got to hear his heartbeat as well, to which my Mum said, "Wah so loud!" We tried to suss out the gender but Bean had his legs crossed (so modest!) so we couldn't really see and we'll just have to wait till the next scan in 6 weeks. 

My nausea has subsided except when I get into cabs and they start their accelerator, brake, accelerator, brake rubbish at frequent intervals. Cabs are really a bad idea for pregnant women and drunkards. They can be vomit-inducing. 

Everyone has been taking extra care of me since learning I am pregnant. This includes not allowing me to carry anything, including my own handbag! I keep telling them, I'm pregnant, not handicapped! 

My Mum has been showing her concern by scolding me. "You're not resting enough!", "You do too many things and tire yourself.", "You really shouldn't be travelling!" 

My other relatives have been expressing their love in more conventional ways. My aunt bought me a black maternity dress from Hong Kong on her recent trip there and my other aunt came to see me with a pot of freshly brewed bird's nest soup. 

Bean and I could get used to this pampering! 

Week 11: Somersaults!

This week we saw Bean for the second time. He was happily somersaulting in my belly when we did the 11-week ultrasound at the hospital. It was amazing to see him after a couple of weeks since my first scan, because the image this time was so clear. I saw his head, watched him moving his arms and legs, flipping and turning, checked out his rear view, it was great and I could only wish I could see this everyday!

My nausea is gradually subsiding and I have been sleeping better. My tummy is growing rapidly and I think I'm going to need some really large bottoms soon. Although I can still fit into my jeans, they are starting to feel increasingly tight and uncomfortable. 

I'm travelling home next week and have been worrying about not having anything comfortable to wear on the flight. So a few days ago, R looked through his cupboard and found a pair of his jogging bottoms for me to wear. I don't know about you, but I think it's just so sad I have to resort to wearing my husband's trousers! 

On Thursday, I freaked out a bit because I was spotting in the evening. I phoned up the midwife who said there was no cause for concern unless there was a lot of it accompanied by cramping. Still, if I was concerned she said, I should either go and see my GP or go straight into A&E.

Thankfully, there was nothing more after that one episode (fingers crossed) and I have been ever so careful watching my steps (I am so clumsy I often trip) and giving myself plenty of time to get to places so I don't have to hurry and feel stressed. 

With the 12th week approaching and signalling the diminished risk of miscarriage, we are beginning to tell more and more people about the pregnancy, including close friends and colleagues whom we have kept it from till now. 

And most of their responses were, "Oh my god!" 

Week 10: Spots, sick, sore, sleepless

As I laid in bed one evening feeling absolutely exhausted, I realised my grandmother has had five children. Not one, not two, not three, not four but FIVE! I was all tucked up in bed, at six o'clock in the evening, feeling miserable, weak, nauseous, fed up, and just so weary, I wondered what made women choose to go through this over and over again. For my grandmother, that would be five times in total.

I have never been unwell for such a long period of time. I have the occasional cold and cough, fever or diarrhoea, but never this feeling where I constantly feel sick, tired and rough for weeks on end. It's so debilitating and demoralising. I either feel sick or hungry, and seldom the usual contentment after a meal.

All this is supposed to spontaneously resolve after the first trimester, and I know I am lucky compared to many women who actually throw up everyday, but I have other equally frustrating problems.

I am tired every night but I sleep so poorly, it leaves me exhausted the next day. I feel so vacant or blank everyday instead of being usually sharp and focused. Some women say being pregnant makes you stupid, I now totally understand what that means.

I feel so grumpy and moody and have little patience or tolerance. My breasts are still sore and bloated, I am breaking out in spots and have I already mentioned how tired I feel? I told the midwife this but she told me to look on the bright side of things. At least these symptoms show that the pregnancy hormones are abundant and pumping throughout my body, which means Bean is growing.

This week I had my bloods taken at the hospital to screen:

• my haemoglobin level
  
• abnormalities of the red blood cells (sickle cell diseases or thalassaemia)
  
• my immunity to German measles (Rubella)
  
• if I have Syphilis or Hepatitis B
  
• if I have HIV/AIDS

The midwife did not take enough blood the first time and had to poke me another time in my left arm. But she could not find a vein, so she had to go back to the same vein in my right arm again to take two more vials of blood. All in all I was jabbed three times, and I now have a slightly bruised right arm.

She's also arranged for me to do my 11-week scan in the Ultrasound Department next Tuesday afternoon. Since R would be working anyway, he would be able to just pop downstairs for the scan.

We bought a little microphone and speaker which we place on my tummy every other night so that R can talk to Bean while I laugh along at his spontaneous nonsensical blabber. I have been playing him/her children songs on YouTube.

I had the opportunity one afternoon to take a short walk with my boss so I thought it was the perfect time to tell him I am pregnant. His response was, "I'm not surprised! We were going to bet on it!"

Well what it is is I have one colleague who's about to pop and another who recently become a first-time dad, so he noticed I had been showing quite a bit of interest in them. "But I've always been interested in babies!" I replied in defence. "Ah, we just knew anyway," he said. "Congratulations."