No regrets

Unless you are filthy rich, there is really no "good time" to have kids. There are always bills to be paid, a bit of renovation which needs to be done, new interesting world destinations you have yet to explore, that dream job you've always wanted to have, that "something" you have to do before you get too old, the freedom you find hard to sacrifice. And so, for many people, procreation gets right down to the bottom of their massive "to-do" list.

While I have always been certain I wanted children, I too got caught up in the "Now's not the time to get pregnant because I haven't done this yet!" dilemma. Until of course, my husband decided for me that "I don't know what you are waiting for, let's just do it." I doubted his fertility since he's much older and really did not for a moment believe we could get lucky so quickly. Even my crazy Fizzy Cola and meat cravings early on did not once raise my suspicions that I could be pregnant.

I wouldn't say the pregnancy was unplanned, but by the same token, I don't know if I should say it was planned? One thing's for sure - I definitely didn't feel ready for a baby when I fell pregnant. My husband just decided to "go with the flow" (no pun intended) and see what happens. In the end Bean was what happened and now 8 months down the line, we've got a proper strong wriggler stuck in my belly.

And somehow, though I don't know how, we even managed to see beyond the worries we initially had (finances, childcare, responsibilities, lifestyle adjustments), find a way to deal with them and look forward to a new journey ahead.

Bean has made us grow up quickly, to think of us not as a couple but now us as a family, to be prepared to make major changes and sacrifices to our lives. For instance, my body is and will never be the same after childbirth I suspect. I now have horrible black huge nipples, pregnancy piles, and skin darkening around my groin and inner thighs. Whether or not I will get my pre-pregnancy body back, I don't know.

Yet despite all this, I cannot imagine not having children, or not being able to be a mother. It's only now that I've realised that having kids is actually a big deal for me, much more than carving a career or being a corporate high-flier. I would even be content to be a full-time stay-home mum. Because I believe that any woman can be good at their job but a truly successful woman is one who brings her kids up right.